i wish boobs were like an accessory instead of something permanently attached to you like you could say “wow this dress would look really good with these boobs” and “i feel like wearing boobs today” or “not really digging boobs so i’m not gonna put them on” and “boobs just aren’t my thing”
THAT WOULD SOLVE LIKE 6 OF MY PROBLEMS OMFG
I got 99 problems and permanent boobage is about 26 of them.
MY MOM JUST ASKED ME WHAT I WANT MY CAKE TO BE FOR MY SPIDER-MAN THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY AND I TOLD HER I WANT IT TO BE IN THE SHAPE OF ANDREW GARFIELD’S BUTT AND SHE WAS LIKE “SEND ME SOME PHOTOS I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO” OH MY GOD
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
'Scuse me, but may I have a piece of that ass?Do you know how many times I made that joke at my party
how am i supposed to make creative funny text posts when nothing happens in my life at all
you just use a story from sims and pretend it really happened to you
one time i was swimming but the pool ladders disappeared so i couldn’t get out of the pool and i swam for 10 hours then died
EYEWITNESS ACCOUNT OF THE MIKE BROWN FERGUSON MURDER.
SPREAD THIS LIKE FIRE BEFORE IT GETS DELETED
"He got on his knees and said ‘Don’t shoot me, don’t shoot me’…He shot him dead in the head. Then walked up to his body and shot him 4 more times. Looked him in his eyes, paused for a minute, and shot him four more times"
All for stealing candy
No all for being black
He didn’t steal anything. This was murder by the police.
Imagine Jensen sitting in a waiting room and there’s another man sitting opposite him. The receptionist comes out and says, “Dean?” and both Jensen and the other guy start to get up and then look at each other and Jensen’s just like “Oh, God, not again” and sits back down covering his face.
I found this and I still think it’s hilarious
all boobs are good boobs
all stomachs are good stomachs
all thighs are good thighs
all bodies are good bodies
yes yours, too, and don’t you forget it
that in the Chinese version of Disney’s Mulan, the fake name she gives is “Ping”, but her family name “Fa” in English is “Hua” in Chinese, therefore her full name is “Hua Ping”, which is literally “Flower Vase”, and that’s why Shang is so bewildered because it’s a silly name.
but OP how could you not tell them the best part
“hua ping”/flower vase is chinese slang for “camp gay”
This feeling when you walk into big art supply stores …
brb changing underwear
I AM GOING TO PASS OUT
Ways to kill your enemies
I know way too much about killing people because of this website
I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW THESE INVISIBLE BALLS ARE SUPPOSED TO KILL YOU???? 250K NOTES DOES ANYBODY ACTUALLY KNOW
by swallowing the water without the knowledge of the balls’ presence, you’re basically destined to choke on them
bubble tea of death
Bubble tea of death
Also the marbles absorb water, so once they get inside you, they’ll start expanding even more and basically take all the fluid out of your body and you’ll very slowly dehydrate to death.
Basically Bubble Tea of Death
i really want to see someone get murdered this way on supernatural
holy fuck we have our windows open and we heard a blood curling scream so naturally I went to look out the window because wow is someone getting stabbed?? and it is just my neighbour on his knees staring at a KFC chicken bucket spilt all over his driveway
that’s the whole movie
More fun facts about ancient Celtic marriage laws: There were no laws against interclass or interracial marriage, no laws against open homosexual relationships (although they weren’t considered ‘marriages’ since the definition of a marriage was ‘couple with child’), no requirement for women to take their husband’s names or give up their property, but comedians couldn’t get married
It’s Adam and Eve not Adam Sandler and Eve
there’s always those neighbour countries that sort of hate each other like new zealand and australia, britain and france, the rest of the world and america